I’ve been gone for months. I went off the dollhouse for awhile to do other things, but I’m back to hoist the sails and get this baby to port. Just the front of the dollhouse remains. It’s time for landscape.

I have about 3/4 of an inch in front which is not much real estate. WWSD? (What would Sally do?)

She would back out of that garage for Hobby Lobby so fast she’d feel G forces. She loved that place. I am not a Hobby Lobby person in the way that I’m a Lowe’s person, not a Home Depot person if you follow me. And if you don’t, just ignore all that.

But I needed hardcore diorama goodies so I went the other day. Plus, it always makes me happy to visit a place my mother loved and follow in her spiritual wake.

First to the dollhouse area. Croquet set for $4.99. Oh painter’s table, are you kidding? With paint splotched rag and palette? It’s only $6.99! I looked at various trims, and architectural folderol which was fun. But I’m still in flipping mode. I need more experience before I go into construction.

The flora and fauna was over in model trains. Immediately I saw a boxwood set. With hedges and three styles of topiaries. As visions of reinventing Versailles with parterre made me dizzy, I scooped that up along with a flowering bush package and flowers and grasses. These even come with colored sands to make gravel and soil.

I had an idea to use a stalk of fake flowers as a flowering tree and found something suitable in the fake flower aisle. It was vaguely Asian, sort of cherry blossomy – with tiny pink flowers. I was high on this project till I got it home and it looked really cheesy. I cut the stems off to use them elsewhere.

I was going out the automatic door of Hobby Lobby, thinking of my mother: “well, darling, I finally visited your sanctum and I know you’re happy…” when a crow dive bombed me and started cawing. I turned to watch it and the crow landed on the roof of Hobby Lobby, still cawing. I think I’ve mentioned my mother had probably 20 feathered crows in her studio, the woman loved crows.

That, friends, is your dead mother giving you a high five.

The boxwoods are nice quality. I played with various hedge configurations. An uninterrupted line across the house was very boring to the eye. When I separated the hedges and fooled with topiary arrangements in between, it was better. Then I added some flowers. Now, in the real world we don’t have flowers coming out of hedges, but we do here because we can’t represent a garden concept any other way. This is not verisimilitude:  pay no attention to the hedges on top of the brick walkway covered in flowers.

There are maybe some scale issues here with the boxwoods. They’re 1:12 but something is off. I also need real height. Will go back to Hobby Lobby for some taller foliage. And I need a door knocker.

I kind of like Hobby Lobby, not too proud to admit it.

After trying pin spotlights and led strips, I finally got the lighting right! I've just gone with battery puck lights. They're on a remote with a dimmer! No transformer cords or drilling. I put them on the ceiling with museum putty. They're a bit visible, and should probably hide them with strategic ceiling beam work, but screw it. Going with it.

I made a 'To Sell' box for the Depression dining room. I loaded it up with extras from the attic including the Shackman rug I love so much. Finally finished an invite for the masquerade ball that will go in the bathroom. No one keeps invitations in the bathroom, but again, I need to do some scene setting.

That tiny print consumed three hours while I troubleshot my f*&^ng printer which suddenly decided to only print black and white. I beat it by installing a driver that was random, not the same model, and that fixed it - for now. I have fixed my printers, my friends' printers, my parents' printers, my clients' printers, printers at work, probably your printer...AND I HATE THEM with the white hot fire of a crazed anti-vaxxer.

Other stuff:

I made a faux copper verdigris base for the weather vane with metallic markers.

Made the decade signs for the rooms. I chose a period font and printed them on sepia paper, then framed them in those wee gold metal frames I've used for the tintypes. The eras end at the 1990s (the front) but there's no sign there, so I lost my chance to use the awful Comic Sans which would make me laugh. I nailed them but I had to cheat with museum putty to get a flay lay.

Finally, a little last minute shopping. Have been looking for more critters to put about the place. I'd like a fox or a racoon but then I saw something that made me bust out laughing out loud. A very naughty squirrel attacking the bird feeder. At $24 plus shipping it's a splurge but I will always laugh when I see it. I shudder to think what I have spent on this faux house. Probably more than I spent on my actual house.

Last of all, bought a trellis with greenery for one side of the house that's empty. Which brings me to....

We're almost to the Big Reveal. I'll post it all here, with luck before 2022.

There's also one last chapter to write where I try to make sense of this experience, and what it really meant beyond a miniature edition of This Old House. And that really will be it. I finished your dollhouse, Mom. Just like you always hoped.

Postscript, 2022

I finally wrote that chapter though it's a work in progress. I also posted before and after pictures. You made it! Go to The Reveal now.